Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Why You Should Wear a Bra When Playing with Parrots

Some people think you should wear gloves  when you are working with parrots, so that you do not get bitten.  I completely disagree.

However, as we discovered recently, you should wear a bra.

Our dear sweet Static likes to climb on people.  She’s quite athletic about it, and she can hoist herself, beak over talon, from the floor, up your pant leg, onto your shirt, and eventually up onto your shoulder.  She’s very careful about this process, having learned long ago not to bite too hard.  She’s well aware that humans don’t much like it when her little beakie pokes holes in their clothing as she climbs her way to wherever she’s going.

In her world, she thinks her humans are her personal jungle gym.  We don’t mind, really, because she’s mostly good about not pooping on us, and other than just being silly and annoying as only cockatoos can be, she’s very well behaved.  She knows better than to deliberately bite when she’s playing on us, because she knows that will end the fun right then and there.

But, accidents do happen once in a while.

The other morning, Static and my wife were both in our home office.  Static was busy climbing and dancing in my wife’s lap.  My wife, having not gotten dressed for the day, was wearing a thin cotton house dress.  I was in the office, too, with my back to both of them, as my attentions were focused on my computer.

Suddenly, my wife yelped.  Okay, it wasn’t really a yelp.  It was more of a blood-curdling shriek.

Apparently, dear sweet Static was climbing up my wife’s shirt when she accidentally grabbed hold of more than my wife’s clothing.

Yeah, things got a little nipply there for a second.

Ouch.

So my wife screamed, and Static immediately let go and plopped back into her lap.  The alarmed bird flattened herself down, her feathers slicked tight.  After a second, she stood up and looked around with an expression that could only be described as a “what the hell just happened?” look on her face.  At that point I retrieved her from my wife’s lap.

After my wife had a moment to compose herself, and a close visual inspection proved that her nipple was still intact, I placed Static back in her lap.  This time she s-l-o-w-l-y climbed to my wife’s shoulder, being much more careful to avoid accidentally beaking the tender spot.

So when you are working with your parrot, gloves are not necessary.  A bra, however, probably is.